Justin Bieber's Peen Has The Internet In A Tizzy
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What do ü peen?

The world needed to know, and Justin Bieber answered.

Exclusive images from NY Daily News show the man-sized toddler with attitude going for a nude dip in Bora Bora. One brave soul tweeted the unedited versions, which can be seen here.

Here's how the Internet responded...

Rand And Evi Quaid Arrested In Canada By An "Actual Tall Midget"
Via: Variety
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It was an actual tall midget.

That's who arrested actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi in Canada today. We don't know what they did, but it couldn't be any worse than their previous sexcapades.

Evi did what any sane person would do after the incident—blame Canada.

The couple posted this bizarre video right before the arrest where they talk about Hillary Clinton's email scandal, toast to their wedding anniversary and complain about Canada some more.

Wow, Quaids. Just wow.

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Have you ever invited a neighbor over for a barbecue or a beer (who am I kidding, none of us could do that because we can't afford homes, but I digress), and they get a little drunk and start saying weird things? What if that neighbor was Donald Trump?

Vin Diesel Shows Off His Plump New Dad Bod
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Now that's what you call XXX(L).

Actor Vin Diesel was spotted on a balcony in Miami on Tuesday and something looked a bit different when he took his shirt off. That's right. This tough guy now has a grade-A dad bod.

And an outie belly button.

Here's a reminder of what Diesel used to look like...

And now...

But when he put a shirt on, something magical happened.

He's a hunk again.

Witchcraft, we tell ya. Witchcraft.

Dogfart offers Kim Davis half a million to appear in a porn movie.
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Kim Davis might just land on her feet... or her back.

After gaining national attention for refusing to do her job and issue same-sex marriage certificate in Rowan County, Kentucky, Davis has only really been popular with the people who have deep issues with the Supreme Court's decision to legalize gay marriage.

Well, here's her chance to make some more friends.

The Dogfart Network, being a host of sites dedicated to all things er0tic, wanted to extend an olive branch towards the beaten down Davis, who might not have a job after the next election cycle. That olive branch is an offer of $500,000 to be in an interracial lesbian sex scene.

Checkout Dogfart's press release:

Of course, it's just a chance to grab some headlines and give talented writers everywhere (ahem) a chance to write the word 'Dogfart'.

Still, we appreciate them giving Davis the opportunity to mend some of those bridges she gladly burned.

Take the money, Kim. Make America proud.

Vladimir Putin played hockey and scored 7 goals on his birthday.
Via: Mashable
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Ah, you're Putin me on with this one.

For his Oct. 7 birthday, the President of the Russian Federation strapped on his skates and took to the ice like a tyrannical zamboni. Vladamir Putin played against NHL stars in Socci and scored a whopping seven goals, leading his team to a 15-10 victory.

So impressive.

Mashable has more details:

The event kicked off the fifth season of Russia's Night Hockey League, and saw Putin playing alongside international hockey legends like Pavel Bure and Vladimir Lutchenko. His team took home victory, beating their opponents 15 to 10.

The opposing team included Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu as well as Putin's close friends — tycoons Gennady Timchenko and Arkady Rotenberg. Both were slapped with Western sanctions last year for their ties to Putin in the wake of Russia's annexation of Crimea.

But Putin was undoubtedly the star of the show, and event went home with a trophy for his team's win at the end and a medal for his contribution to hockey in Russia.

There's no reason at all to question Putin's ability to score seven goals playing against hockey legends.

He's just that good.

This isn't the first time, he's shown such amazing prowess in three periods of play. Just last May, Putin bested his birthday score, by putting eight pucks into the net.

Truly the world of hockey is missing out on a player that would eclipse the great Gretzky.

Here's the highlight reel from Wednesday's game.

Via: Comixology
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Premiering November 20th, Jessica Jones, Marvel's next Netflix series will continue to introduce the 'street-level' heroes of Hell's Kitchen, New York. This hero isn't as recognizable as her counterparts. As part of MAX (Marvel's first unrated comic line) Alias featured Jessica Jones' downward spiral after a serious trauma forced her to hang up her cape and become a private investigator, but the series only ran for 28 issues between 2001 and 2004.

Now, in order to help audiences catch up with the lesser known hero, Marvel got the original creators (Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Gaydos) to create a free 12-page issue connecting Jessica Jones to the over-arching MCU.

There's even a special Daredevil cameo. You can get a Digital Copy at Comixology. You should do it now! It's free!

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